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    8/16/2009

    夏日记

    心里似乎总要有些不愉快的事才算安稳   也似乎在每件沉闷的事实背后都会留下一点欢愉

    越来越接近衰老的年龄的这个时候 我们开始担忧青春还有多少时日停驻

    你让我明白了一件事

    那就是如果再这样无知无觉下去 我们很快一如那些在27、8岁的女孩子找个顺眼的对象结婚生子

    然后像妈妈为我们操劳那样过完自己的一生

    你说你不想 你想在一个没有电的山沟沟里隐居

    我也不想 但是我什么也没说

    不 我还是说了一些话 我嘲笑了你不切实际的幻想

    但或许 这些不切实际的道路你会坎坎坷坷地走到底 如果这对你是更好的选择的话

    很多时候 我觉得你的处境比我凄惨 你我都了解你很寂寞

    但你我也同样了解 我也好不到哪里去

     

    我突然很想把自己灌醉 一瓶瓶的啤酒 让自己睡在厕所里

    在恰当的情境下 发现了这些道理 我一会觉得自己看透世事 一会又确信自己愚蠢透顶

    我恨自己 我恨自己的憎恨

     

    是什么时候开始

    是什么时候不知不觉 我已经有了这么多回忆呢

    回忆多的会不时冒出来的时候

    你就会感叹自己老了

     

    现在我正被无数扭曲痛苦的记忆围攻着

    哎 好记忆快来吧 来救救我

    别再袖手旁观

     

    而当我开始对曾经深深吸引的人厌恶时 我渐渐明白 这个人并非面目全非 而是能感同身受他对时光的消极的此时此刻

     

    我也不可避免的厌恶自己

     

     

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